That Time I Stopped Drawing Because I got A Bad Grade in Art Class

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I'm an artist. Or at least that is what my instagram bio says and as we all know if it's in our ig bio, it's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But I didn't always start out as being the silly little cartoonist I am today. Actually, I only started drawing consistently last year. Over the course of my life, I've started and stopped drawing at least a thousand times. Art isn't talent like everyone thinks it is. Some people are more attuned to drawing and may be able to draw at a higher level than others initially. But art is practice. It's hard work, long nights and incidents of carpral tunnel.

It's taken me a year to realize. Now that I know this I sometimes sit back and think about how good I'd be at art if I had actually continued drawing all those times I stopped. How awesome would my art be?  Would people know about my art and be interested in it? Would I even be in university studying evolution or would I be in art school? Would I have gotten a better grade in art class?

I don't think all those years of practice would have changed anything. It definitely wouldn't have changed my major, nor what school I was in, and it sure as heck wouldn't have made my C in art class any better. My love of drawing couldn't have saved my grade and how it made my belief in my artistic ability plummet.

I started off the year really liking art class and by the end of it, I was disillusioned with the whole aspect of taking art classes. The problem wasn't really with me, or with the class. It was a mix of the two. I had no interest in doing fine art and studying and trying to replicate the art work of famous artists. I was more into cartooning. And me and art class? Well we just didn't gel. I still had a passion for it and I doodled and sketched whenever possible (ask my other teachers about that) but I just wasn't that kind of artist.

And it's a little sad that I wasn't able to understand that in middle school. I absolutely lost faith in all artistic ability I had. And it wasn't me it's just that, art class was a class before anything else. It was more about learning and less about freedom and expression (although shoutout to my teacher at the time. We studied Georgia O'Keefe and Frida Kahlo!).

In between my loss of faith in myself, I started and gave up alot. I drew and didn't see progress and stopped. I would see other artists and how good they were and think 'I could never do that'. And I would stop. And I would feel that sneaking sneak sadness poking it's nosey face into my life. And I wouldn't draw again for months.

I was slumped and slumped good. And it really took a long time to get back into art and to inspire myself to do it and do it consistently. I had an artist or two that I discovered and totally inspired me to get back into drawing.

My art isn't good. I've been drawing consistently for only a year. But it's been a good year. And I've improved alot. I'm proud of where I am right now. I have ideas that I can't wait to put out. I have a two year timeline until I begin to work on and publish my first webcomic. In those two years I have a lot of work to do and a lot to practice but once those two years are up, it's all go whether I'm ready or not. And I'm excited.
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